Friday, May 10, 2013

Dear 790


"This is my temporary home,
it's not where I belong,
windows and rooms that I'm passing through.
This was just a stop
on the way to where I'm going,
I'm not afraid because I know
this was my temporary home."

When you're little and people ask you what superpower you'd want, you pick flying or invisibility or seeing the future or the ability to shoot fire out your nose.

You don't pick leaving.

But here I am in the middle of an empty apartment, getting ready to say goodbye to another place that's seen all of my best and all of my worst, hoping that someday staying will come as naturally to me as leaving does. 

The street numbers are my little trophies. 8230, where I imagine I'll still be having sleepovers with my best friends when we're 30. 513, where I discovered that girls aren't always evil even when they're traveling in packs and wearing strange letters. 639, where I learned to read maps in weird languages and live a little. 422 and 431, where I learned the hard way that you can't make someone love you.

790, where I learned that I'm so much happier when I'm alone than when I'm settling. That it's okay if my life isn't anything like what I thought it would be at 25. That I'm a whole lot more than the sum of all my mistakes. To just say it already. To finally stop underestimating myself.

The best part is that the very best parts are still to come, still out there somewhere, and all I have to do is find them.

A little open letter to my next number: you've got a lot to live up to, but so do I. And it's okay if you're not my last. Just do me a favor and leave me better than you found me.

(See you guys next week! Miss yo faces)

4 comments

  1. Great post Sam, you're definitely moving on to bigger and better things!
    Ginny

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  2. Sam my sassy nugget, I have been missing you :-). I really love your eloquent way of writing so I could totally relate to your open letter to your next destination.
    I have been living in a lots of numbers in my life relating to my abroad experience and it made me the person I am today beeing so much more wiser and mature. And you will apporach your next number with a different attitude and you will handle things differently than in NO 790. Graduating is so much fun and so many great things like a new city a new job and MR. Right will be waiting for you OH and I will be waiting for great Fashionistas posts from you hehehehe in some bad ass Oh LA LA costumes ;-). Be excited and optimistic my dear, this will such a gret next chapter in your life. Cant wait to see your graduation pics my super beautiful in and out sassy nugget.

    Lova Ya,
    Ani
    www.fleurani.blogspot.de

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  3. Next stop, Chitown:) Miss you already xoxo!

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  4. Sam, you seriously are the best at capturing just what I am thinking with your writing. Oh the memories I have at 347 meeting my future best friends/long lost sisters, or 17 (better known as "club 17") where I lived in my first off-campus apartment, or 2216 when I lived alone for the first time. And now I am thinking of meeting my now fiancé in 2105, living the bohemian life in 1830 & moving in with my man friend in 2116. They are just numbers yet have been such memorable stepping stones in my life... living the life of a consummate student means lots of moving, but also many opportunities to spread yourself to a new space and fill it with yourself, even if just for a short time. My hat is off to you as you journey to the next stop along the road. Good luck & safe travels my dear!
    xx

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