Wednesday, April 24, 2013

OOTD | Finals & Wine, Wine & Finals

Tee: Old Navy | Shorts: Target | Sandals: Sam Edelman | Necklace: F21 | Sunnies: RayBan | Bracelet: Charlotte Russe | Watch: Fossil

My brain and I have literally nothing to offer you today, and this is the only outfit that included real pants that I've worn all week. hashtagMYLIFE hashtagINSHAMBLES


So instead, an interpretive dance of my life, in memes:

(But it's not funny unless you watch this first. Warning: profanity. As per usual.)

Sunday, April 21, 2013

Blog Dogs | Here & Now: Doug & Scout

I'm SO PSYCHED to introduce you guys to DTP, the thuggest pug in the streets, and his new baby sister Scout. (I'm fangirling out a little bit right now - I've got a huge Doug crush.) Their mama needs no introduction - if you're not checking out Jess's style on Here & Now already, you're missing out big time. Plus, you'd be missing gems like "the pug monorail" (you'll see in a minute)...

1. Introduce us to your little furbabies!

My little babies are Doug The Pug & Scout. Known on the Internet as #dougfan & #scoutthepug. Or at home as Douglas, Dougie Fresh, Frankenstein, Dergals. And Scouter-pants, Baby Girl, Squirrel.

2. Where and when and how did you get Doug & Scout?

I have wanted a Pug named Doug since I was 8 years old (along with a Great Dane named Wayne, but that is a story for another day). After receiving multiple stuffed animal pugs growing up that I named "Doug", in the summer of 2010 I finally convinced my boyfriend that we needed a pug. We found a breeder in Kentucky that raises show pugs & sells the ones that aren't made for competition in the ring...

Doug was a show pug reject, but perfect for us! We caught the pug itch again this past February & drove back to KY for our 2nd child, a little girl we named Scout.

3. What are the pugs' favorite toys?

Doug prefers stuffed animals - if only to gnaw on their beady little plastic eyes.

And Scout is quite the hoof connoisseur.

4. Tell us your favorite pug story. Come on, you know you have one.

There are too many to name - really!

Pugs are the comedians of the dog world - here only to entertain & occupy laps.

There was the one time that Doug had some stress poo inside my boyfriend's roommate's room (think LOTS & reallllly sloppy)... and if that wasn't enough, he flicked said poo on every vertical surface in the room... I guess I should add the nickname "s***storm" to the list.

We have only had Scout for a month - but she has quickly earned the moniker "squirrel" because she is very peculiar & squirrel-ish... hard to explain on the internet, you just have to meet her!

5. Do Doug & Scout have any funny quirks?

Everything these two do is a quirk.

We have even video taped them several times while out of the house - we have to watch it in fast forward because they do so much sleeping, but then there will be this weird "Paranomal Activity" style movement (like Doug sitting on the coffee table) & then back to sleeping!

Scout sleeps with all of her paws tucked underneath her - pug monorail style, has to sit on my lap while I use the restroom & has the worst case of dog FOMO I have ever seen.

Doug watches TV. He can pick out a child, horse or cat, even in cartoon form, from across the room.

6. Where do the pugs sleep?

Well sharing my pillow of course! Doug is the little spoon & Scout is the big spoon. It is a beautiful snore fest!

7. Can the pugs do any tricks?

Is begging a trick? Or being ridiculously cute? Not known as the sharpest members of the Animal Kingdom...

8. If you could describe the pugs' personality in one word, what would it be?

Doug: little Prince

Scout: squirrel

9. Are there any doggy products you can't live without?

um, poop bags?

Before becoming a pet owner I never realized that picking up another organism's poo would become so routine...

10. What's the best advice you have for someone who's considering getting a dog?

If you aren't going to be able to love them like an extension of yourself, don't even think about it!

Thanks for sharing the puglets with us, Jess! I'm even more smitten than I was before. Next up is Ginny from My New Favorite Outfit, one of my very sweetest bloggy friends, and Gracie the beagle. See you next week!

Thursday, April 18, 2013

Shopping | In Which I Give You Valid Reasons to Buy Things

Reasons to Shop for Pretty Dresses in April
Graduation (if you're not graduating and no one you know is graduating, I'M GRADUATING! Ya welcome.)
Bachelorette parties
Bridal showers
Baby showers
Formals (grown-up prom... with liquor)
The Derby
Because it's warm(er)
Because they're pretty
Because the Mayan apocalypse could still be coming, they were just bad at math

I'm a sucker for pretty dresses, guys. That and puppies. And Jenna Marbles videos on YouTube, and fries. So what have we learned today? Sam sucks.

Since I swore I wasn't going to buy a new dress for graduation and then I did it anyway (hint: it's pictured!) we're going to play a fun game in the next few weeks called "how many different ways can you work a semi-formal dress into your everyday life to bring the cost-per-wear down to a level that doesn't make you cry." Who's with me!

As soon as I decided to spend more than Forever 21 on a grad dress, I beelined for BCBG because I luuurrrrvvvveeee my Vegas dress (top middle in a different color) so much that I've worn it more than any LBD in my closet. True story. Apparently sequins are the new black. So really it's my... LSD. Oh great. Hi bar examiners! Make sequins not war. I swear I'm not on drugs.

(source... for the image, not LSD)

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

OOTD | Monday

Jacket: Black Rivet via HauteLook | Tee: Gap | Tank: Target | Jeans: American Eagle | Flats: Payless | Bracelet: Target | Necklace: ASOS

When I woke up Monday the most difficult part of my day was having to go to all 12 of the classes I have left in all of law school and having to wear a whole lot of patent/pleather because the forecast was all rain rain go away.

And for whatever reason I hate that I'm smiling in that picture. I know, I know, pre-Monday afternoon Sam had no way to know and I shouldn't judge her but come on you insensitive prick.

This Boston thing hit me hard, you guys. I was raised on marathons and triathlons. My mom and I spent hours and hours and hours cheering on runners and making friends and listening to Grapevine and Magic Carpet Ride blasting on the loudspeakers (we were, literally, The People Who Watch Marathons). Dad would come get me a few hundred feet from the end and take my hand - and no matter who was right behind him when he picked me up, they'd always make sure not to pass him so he wouldn't lose his finishing place - and we'd run across the finish line together. I was so little and I loved it so much. That little boy who died was me, you know? He waited all day to hug his daddy when he finally crossed that line and then he went back to his mom and their whole lives exploded.

I don't want to live in a world where people plant bombs to hurt and kill people who dedicated their whole day to cheer on total strangers. But I do.

When I started to get really, really sad, I focused on the stories about the marathoners who kept running straight to the hospital to give blood, the people ripping their clothes up to make tourniquets, the people opening their homes, the people running toward the bombs. People ran toward bombs on Monday, you guys. Not soldiers or doctors or cops or people trained to do that kind of thing (although they did it too, and that's just as awesome) but normal everyday people. By the second blast they knew it wasn't some accident. They were literally under physical attack and they ran. toward. bombs. to help people they'd never met.

And the beautiful part? You and I would have done it too. I wondered about that for awhile. Would I? Would I have been too scared? And I know that I would have been terrified, and they were terrified, but I know that we would do what they did because we are good. And no matter what we lose, no matter the beautiful amazing people they take away from us, they can't win.

"We would not be here if humanity were inherently evil. We'd have eaten ourselves alive long ago. 
So when you spot violence, or bigotry, or intolerance or fear or just garden-variety misogyny, hatred or ignorance, just look it in the eye and think, 'The good outnumber you, and we always will.'"

Happy Wednesday, everyone. Thanks for being one of the happy parts of my week :)

Sunday, April 14, 2013

Blog Dogs | Wearable.Fun.Fashion: Vienna & Sophia

So when Jenna at Wearable.Fun.Fashion said she'd like to introduce her nieces, I was immediately in love. Anyone who uses familial terms with animals is a friend of mine. Not only is this girl hilarious (oh you don't believe me? Bloopers post from last week. boom) but she's an auntie to a pitbull.

Not that I don't adore little miss Vienna the hotdog bossdog... but let me tell you how I feel about pitbulls.

I wrote a paper in law school on the unconstitutionality of breed-specific legislation (pit bull bans). Fun fact: not only is "pit bull" not technically a breed (which means you can't define it with any reasonable, rational, predictable results), but people are routinely robbed of their family pets with no due process, no opportunity to fight the 'charges', no proof of wrongdoing whatsoever besides an animal control worker's basic idea of what a pit looks like. People are excluded from living in certain places because dogs of a similar body structure to their dog has committed a bad act at some point in the past. It's sort of like not letting someone move in to an apartment because their great uncle twice removed who has the same eye color robbed a convenience store and the neighbors raise their eyebrows. This, as a future lawyer, appalls me.

But this is another lecture for another day.

On to the cute puppy pics!

1. Introduce us to your little furbaby!

I am so excited to introduce my beautiful doggie nieces, Vienna Ann and Sophia. They are my older sister Wendy's dogs but I take the role of "doggie Aunt" very seriously :) Vienna is a dachshund and Sophia is the sweetest pittie you will ever meet! They are "sisters" and love each other so much. You can always find them cuddling, spooning (for real, see evidence below), or "play-biting" each other. 

2. Where and when and how did you get Vienna and Sophia?

Well Vienna's mom is actually MY dachshund, Trixie-Belle Rose. Trixie-Belle and my other dachshund, Ernie, had a little of puppies together a couple summer's ago and my sister, Wendy, decided to keep one of them! She got Sophia as a puppy as few years ago. 

3. What are their favorite toys?

They both love to chew on rawhide bones filled with peanut butter and...each other. They absolutely love to play and wrestle but don't worry, Sophia knows not to be too rough with little Vienna! 

4. Tell us your favorite Vienna/Sophia story.

I don't have a particular story, but I think it's hilarious when Vienna takes Sophia's bones and hides them under the bed, where Sophia can't reach them. That and Vienna totally wears the pants in their friendship and bosses Sophia around (just like real sisters would).

5. Do Vienna and Sophia have any funny quirks?

Sophia bites her toenails- it's the funniest looking thing. Vienna HAS to sleep underneath the covers at night. 

6. Where do they sleep? 

They love to sleep in bed with my sister, underneath all the covers! They aren't big on cuddling with humans but love to cuddle with each other at the foot of the bed. 

7. Can Vienna or Sophia do any tricks?

Sophia has the whole -sit-stay-laydown-bark!- thing down pat. That pittie girl will do anything for a treat! Vienna's best trick? We tell her "Sit there and look cute!" and she does it- EVERY TIME! She is truly talented :)

8. If you could describe Vienna and Sophia's personality in one word, what would it be?

Vienna: Sassy. She is so small and tiny but as soon as you try and move her off of my sister's lap during cuddle time, she gets very sassy! I swear to God, she HISSED at me one time. I was not happy about that!

Sophia: Loveable. She may be a pitbull and we all know how much pitbulls get a bad rep, but I have nothing but wonderful things to say about Sophia. She will lick your face off, try and sit on your lap if you're watching TV, and is always SO excited to see me whenever I come to visit. 

9. Are there any doggy products you can't live without?

Rawhide bones! The puppies love them, especially filled with yummy treats like peanut butter. 

10. What's the best advice you have for someone who's considering getting a dog? 

I would say that for all dogs (but dachshunds in particular) do lots of research about the breed to know what you're getting into! Dachshunds are very "stuck-up" and stubborn, so potty-training is always rough. They also HATE going outside to potty when it's raining/snowing! Oh, and definitely consider the whole shedding thing, especially if you ever want to be able to wear a dark colored shirt/sweater again.

Thanks so much for letting me introduce my doggie nieces, Sam :)
(Thanks for calling them doggie nieces, Jenna ;) )

On deck for next week: the impossibly cute Jess from Here & Now, my personal pugcrush Doug (better known in the streets as DTP), and his new baby sister Scout. A must read!

Monday, April 8, 2013

OOTD | Hey Baby

Top: Kohl's | Jeans: Gap | Shoes: Ivanka Trump Annulia | Watch: Fossil

OKAY GUYS. Blurry phone pics and demon dogs in the background aside, I'm in a hurry and I need your help. I need your greatest pickup lines. The weirder the better. I need 200 of them by Saturday and I'm 60 short and I think I've already exhausted the internets.

WARNING... NOT FOR THE FAINTHEARTED. OR EASILY OFFENDED. So really if you follow this blog you're probably fine.

A sampling:

Hey baby, you remind me of my little toe because I'm going to bang you on all of the furniture in my apartment.

On a scale of one to America, how free are you tonight?

Excuse me, my friend is so embarrassed - she wants your number so she knows how to get ahold of me in the morning.

Baby, I must be using Apple Maps because I keep getting lost in your eyes.

What's a nice guy like you doing in a dirty mind like mine?

Baby, do you like Pokemon? Because you woke up the Snorlax in my pants.

...and so on. Hit me with ya best shot, kiddos. For 'merica!
(And yes, I'll for sure post the full list once it's done, because this is a resource everyone needs.)

Sunday, April 7, 2013

Blog Dogs | The Second Best: Beau

I thought I'd seen wrinkles. My parents had bulldogs forever, and one of them even had to have a butt lift. I thought I'd seen it all.

I had not.

When I started following Natalie from The Second Best on Instagram, I had no idea I was in for so much more than super frigging cute outfits. I actually thought she adopted some kind of walrus/hippo hybrid. Beau is officially the squishiest, most precious little ball of wrinkles this girl's ever seen. And make sure you watch the rubber chicken video. I DIE.

1. Introduce us to your little furbaby.
Beau Wilson Hodak (yes, his middle name is Wilson) aka Hey Beau Wrinkles (if we're going by his AKC name) is my little wrinkle muffin and love of my and the hub's life. He's a pure bred Chinese Shar-Pei but thinks he's a person.

2. Where and when and how did you get Beau?
2011 was a pretty crap-tastic year for my family and I was having a hard time, so my hubs and I decided that we should get that dog we've wanted ever since we got serious. I fell in love with a shar-pei mix I found online but he was already adopted, so without doing much more research into the breed, I became obsessed and finally found puppies for sale near us. We met all the pups and initially, I had my heart set on a blue one, but there was some high drama with the breeder about first picks and we ended up with our little tan (well he's actually called a lilac dilute) roll of wrinkles. We lost our family dog of 13 years earlier that year and I can still see my mom's face when she walked into my apartment, under the guise of wedding planning, and saw Beau, it was priceless and I would get 100 more dogs for that reaction.

3. What are his favorite toys?
Beau's favorite toy of all are my husband's socks. Preferably ones that he's taken off at the end of a long day and left on the floor. But if we have to talk serious dog toys, he loves his nylabones and these crazy rubber chickens we got at Target (see video).

4. Tell us your favorite Beau story.
There are WAY too many, but one of my favorites is that one weekend when my parents were dog-sitting, my mom walked in on Beau sitting on top of the kitchen table. He hadn't eaten anything off of it, he was just sitting on top, a midst the plates. Because he's part mountain goat.

5. Does Beau have any funny quirks? 
Beau needs to sit on people. So if we're sitting on the couch, and especially if my husband has a laptop on his lap, Beau will, without fail, sit on one of us.

6. Where does he sleep?
In our bed, at our feet, on our feet, and if one of us isn't home, in the other's spot.

7. Can Beau do any tricks?
Yes! We took training him pretty seriously, so as long as he's in our apartment, he can sit, shake, lay down, speak, park it (run to his dog bed in the corner of the living room and sit in it), come, stay, stop, and my personal favorite, high-five (see video). When outside the apartment, we're lucky if he hears anything we say at all. (Apparently dogs act differently in different environments.)

8. If you could describe Beau's personality in one word, what would it be?
Spoiled (but entitled works just as well). He thinks he's the king, which, I guess, is actually true.

9. Are there any doggy products you can't live without?
These gross dried lambs lung (they look exactly how they sound) treats that Beau loves and his Kong ball where we put said treats.

10. What's the best advice you have for someone who's considering getting a dog?
Go to puppy training classes - they really do give you some great tips and tricks on how to train your dog! Oh and doing research about the breed isn't a bad thing. For instance, because of his wrinkles, Beau will need an eye lift. (That's right, I have to pay for my dog to get an eye lift.)

Thanks for sharing Beau with us for the day, Natalie! And if he goes missing it was for sure not me ;) Check in next week to meet Vienna Ann, Sophia, and their auntie Jenna from Wearable.Fun.Fashion!

Thursday, April 4, 2013

OOTD | 2,730 Minutes to Ethical

Sweater: Old Navy | Tank: Target | Jeans: Victoria's Secret | Booties: Betsey Johnson Ziah | Watch: Fossil | Yellow ring: Charlotte Russe, I think before I said F21, but I'm almost positive it was CR | Little ring: F21 or H&M

I'm terrible at focusing on taking a picture and, you know, not looking like the Craigslist killer. Sorry if your blood ran cold when this post popped up in your reader! I'll work on my general face area.

So there's this test called the MPRE and it's about ethics and it's on Saturday and I have to pass it in order to pass the bar in order to use my degree and pay off the attendant six figures of loan debt. Ipso facto I need to spend approximately zero time on the internets and the next 45.5 hours learning how not  to defraud the general public. I'll be back on Monday (possibly Sunday? But let's not get too ambitious here, I'm going to be hungover on Pizza Hut's new cheesy crust pizza of doom, and having spent all my ethics on that test I'll probably go rob a bank or steal candy from a baby or something) with the next Blog Dogs post - you don't want to miss this wrinkly little dollface, trust me!

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

OOTD | More Goose Than Maverick

Blazer: F21 | Hoodie: Target | Jeans: American Eagle | Flats: Dolce Vita | Bullet necklace: ASOS | Rings: F21 | Sunnies: Rayban

Ever wake up so late that the sweatshirt you wore to bed became a completely necessary part of your outfit? No? Me either...

The hoodie/grandpa shoe combo may be a liiiiiiittle bro-ey, but hey, I was wearing Top Gun glasses. I got over it.

Monday, April 1, 2013

OOTD | Don't Try to Run Away From Us... I Mean the Bears

Jacket: Ali & Kris | Top: River Island, similar steal / similar splurge | Jeans: Gap | Shoes: Ivanka Trump Annulia | Necklace: eBay | Watch: Fossil | Bracelet: Target | Ring: F21

After a long weekend in a beautiful cabin in the Smoky Mountains (destroying a literal box full of Chinese food and four dozen donuts and hours of dance parties and lots of bear jokes - mostly this video at 2:50) with twentysomething of my closets friends, camo seemed like the only appropriate thing to wear on my return to the real world. I bought this top back around my birthday and I hadn't worn it yet, so when I was recovering on the couch with my blog roll on Sunday and saw Krystal's post, I knew I had to play copycat.

I was super sad to leave because we were having the kind of MF-ing blasty blast that dreams are made of, but coming home to my little mutts made it so worth it, like always. Can you tell Nugget is totally worn out from her weekend at camp? Possibly the best photobomb ever.

Happy Tuesday everyone! Hope no one nailed you with a fake lottery ticket yesterday.

Blog Dogs | Franish: Hans & Baer

I'm so excited about today's Blog Dogs! If you're not a follower of Franish you ain't livin' girl... and if you're not following her on Instagram you're missing out on some seriously sweet little puppymuffins in Hans and Baer. Fran Dandy is one of my all-time biggest girl crushes (and yours too, don't lie) and everyone's favorite German almost-doctor, and these two little wienerschnitzels are about to be your favorites as well!

1. Introduce us to your little furbaby!

I have 2! Hans is a 3.5 year old wired haired dachshund and Baer is a 3 year old dachshund/basset hound/ lab / retriever mix (NO he's not a mutt. that hurts his feelings)

2. Where and when and how did you get them?

Hans was my 22nd birthday present from my boyfriend. I begged and begged for a puppy and it all paid off. He just found a litter on craigslist and picked out the runt and made him ours. A few months later we started looking for a brother for Hans. We found Baer at the Columbia County Humane Society. He was a part of a litter of puppies that were dropped on their front door. We had no idea what we were getting ourselves into since he is such a mix. We were surprised when he become 4 times his original size!

3. What are their favorite toys?

Baerpup loves anything he can chew up. Hansi loves his squeeky toy - the kind that doesn't have any fluff in it since they just tear those up.

4. Tell us your favorite puppy story. Come on, you know you have one.

Hans hates the water and Baer loves it. Last summer we went on a run with them and they ended up going on a swim in a lake. Since the water was disgusssssting, they were set to get a bath when we got home. We took their collars off so we could rinse them off outside with a hose, and for the 5 seconds we focused on Baer, Hans ran away. We looked and looked and looked for him all over the neighborhood. I for sure thought he was gone forever (remember we had just taken his collar off with his information). Eventually a lady found him sitting on her back porch and started walking around the neighborhood and we got him back. It was the worst hour of my life.

5. Do they have any funny quirks?

They both can hear the sound of a peeler or knife from across the house - they always get scraps of vegetables and fruits!

6. Where do they sleep?

They are in their crate at night and when we aren't home. It's their little safe zone - they just cuddle up together! Some nights when I feel guilty about leaving them alone I let them sleep with me when Chris isn't home - that's probably Hans's favorite thing in the entire world.

7. Can they do any tricks?

Yes! And we even made a little video even though they just wanted to do all of their tricks at once.

8. If you could describe Hans' and Baer's personality in one word, what would it be?

Hans: low
Baer: sheds-a-lot

9. Are there any doggy products you can't live without?

The knock off furminator!

10. What's the best advice you have for someone who's considering getting a dog?

Think about how often you travel or out of the house. Because my dogs are kenneled during the day, I drive home as quickly as possible after work to let them out. If Chris and I want to travel we have to kennel them or have my parents take them. Puppies are fun and dogs are great, but there are some sacrifices that have to be made - but when they snuggle up to you and lick your face (and your tears...its true), those minimal sacrifices are worth it.

Big thanks to Frannie May for sharing her babies with us! Come back next week for a behind-the-scenes look at the adorably wrinkly Beau and not wrinkly Natalie from The Second Best!

Copyright © 2013 Sam ipsa Loquitur | All Rights Reserved | Blog Design by Sam ipsa Loquitur
DISCLOSURE: I sometimes use affiliate links and may earn a commission from your clicks. Thank you so much for your support!
All opinions are my own. Seriously, just ask my mom.