Cinco Things

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AHOY! The lovely Emily at A Devine Life tagged me in a five things post, so here we goooo...

0. I'm bilingual! Me gusta Doritos Locos Tacos!! <-- this all started because on my sick day(s)... we'll get to that... I watched Role Models, and one of the Bring It On movies had a preview on the DVD, and the mean cheerleader tells Christina Milian she "doesn't speak Taco Bell menu." Seriously how did they get away with saying that?

1. I am straight up Murphy's law/jinxed/cursed. I never got to try a case in front of a jury at my last internship because every single case someone gave me got continued (postponed) for one reason or another. Literally it was almost a dozen cases. And that time (you know, like Monday) when I said I was officially back from my bloggy break? Scheduled my post for Tuesday, woke up Tuesday morning with some mutant combination of plague and the flu and an upper respiratory infection. Haven't gotten out of my pj's since.

2. I avoid pedicures until they're (overly) necessary because I'm so ticklish. Literally, some people live for massages and pedis, and to me they're basically torture.

3. I have a compulsive disorder called trichotillomania that means I pick/rub my eyebrows when I'm stressed. I don't notice when I'm doing it until they're almost gone. So much like the incredibly intimidating German woman who owned the restaurant my mom worked at when I was little, I have (partially) fake drawn-on eyebrows. Except I don't rub mine off on my apron when the kitchen gets too hot.

4. I never got in to The Bachelor. My mom loves it, my friends at home love it. It's not that I don't love me some reality(ish) TV, I just don't see the appeal.

5. I have a penchant for bad movies. Without a Paddle, 2ge+her, all of the Fast & Furious saga... you name it, I love it. I think I'm the only person on the planet who would have given Spice World more than 1/2 a star.

AND NOW! I tag:
Elissa
Gina
Ani
Fran
Whitney

Because learning more random things about you pretties never ever sucks. :) Tell me more!!

OOTD | Just Another Jay Looking For Her Silent Bob

Coat: F21 | Sweater: F21 | Tee: Hanes | Leggings: Target | Boots: Report | Scarf: TJMaxx | Beanie: Target

I'm going to preface this in two separate but ultimately related ways.

First, I know that Clerks 2 is not a "Jay and Silent Bob" movie classically speaking, but it is one of my top five favorite movies of all time, so at least in the abstract being compared to Jay or Silent Bob isn't inherently offensive to me.

Second, I woke up late this morning and it's cold and just getting out of bed felt like I conquered Everest. Real pants and a shower were out of reach today.

Third, and I know I said two up there but going up to change it seems impossibly complicated right now so just go with it, I was referred to in the same sentence as Dog the Bounty Hunter this weekend, so I think I was just warmed up to not be offended by basically anything.

Today I waved at three of my guy friends and they didn't recognize me. As in, they thought I was a boy. More specifically, thought I was Jay (which I suppose I prefer to being mistaken for Silent Bob). And then one of them tried to sort of explain it away by saying "it's not really the beanie so much as your hair sticking out from under it that's Jay-like." So you're saying it's not what I'm wearing but an actual part of me that resembles a man. I feel so much better.

So let this be a lesson unto you. Don't wear beanies if you have hair like Jay, and also go watch Clerks 2. Or at least this part or this part or this part. Please for the love of God do not click those links if you get offended easily. Or at all. Seriously this is not a joke nothing to see here go on about your day.

OOTD | Add Multitasking to the List of Things I'm Bad At

Jacket: H&M | Top: Target | Jeans: Gap | Heels: Sam Edelman Portney | Cuff: Charlotte Russe | Key necklace: F21

Let this post serve as proof of how great I am at handling various semi-necessary life functions at the same time.

Things I've Done While I Wasn't Blogging For The Last Year And A Half (okay like a week and a half but God it felt like fo-evah):

Not my dishes and not my laundry. My apartment smells so good right now. (Future line in my memoirs: "... and that's when I knew I wasn't cut out for trophywifedom.")

Got this drunk. And gave really intellectual advice to everyone around me, because Sam + whiskey = some mutant combination of Dr. Phil and that old lady with the sex talk show.

Listened to this song and this song and this song on repeat because when times get hard I like to go all backwoods hillbilly and pretend I'm the female Johnny Cash.

Had actual lunch dates and dinner dates and drink dates and middle of the night dance parties with some pretttttyyyy kickass friends, who I realize I'm very lucky to still have after three years of law school.

Actually read for my classes. Okay some of them. Still.

Watched every episode of Scandal... and Revenge. Basically, this. Seriously there's a butt-shaped dent in my couch.

Started on a new series that you guys will L-O-L-O-L-O-L-O-V-E. (P.S. I didn't look nearly that badass when I dropped my phone in a toilet.) Unless you hate puppies and America and freedom and cute and Ashlee Simpson. (Hint: you don't. Except for maybe the Ashlee thing) 

Tortured poor Kailyn with my one billion OCD revisions to the new blog design we're working on. Seriously if you need design stuff check her out. She's a baller. And a saint. All rolled into one. Like Snoop with angel wings. (Way to make it weird, Sam. Way to make it weird.)

Got my hurr did. After I took this pic, obvi. Seriously y'all should have seen my hairdresser's face when she saw my roots.

And next week is my spring break, so this is how I'll be handling every class until then.

ANYWAY, long story short, I'm baaaaaack :) What have you guys been up to?! Link me up to everything I've been missing while I was on vacay from blogland.