A Badass in Mourning

Jacket: H&M (if you're listening, please bring it back in olive) | Tee: J.Crew | Pants: F21 | Flats: Tory Burch | Necklace: F21 | Bracelet: F21 | Watch: Fossil

The cure for a few days of blah? Getting your hurr did and some fake ass leather.

Seriously it's been proven. Don't take it up with me, take it up with science.

 

Even though all black kind of makes me feel like I'm en route to a funeral, I read an interview with Lauren Conrad that stuck with me: the easiest way to look put together is to go all black. Having just missed an Emmy nod for my scintillating portrayal of Sandy in my sorority's recruitment skit and at my grandparents' 50th anniversary party, I consider myself the foremost expert on this subject and I'm here to tell you that wearing black leather and lipstick will make you feel like a badass.

 

So will red highlights.

So will only having one class.

(It was a good day. And nobody died.)

7:47

Sweater: F21 | Skirt: Limited via MJR Sales | Shoes: Ivanka Trump | Belt: F21 | Tote: Target | Earrings: F21

As if it weren't enough that I woke up at 7:47 and needed to be at work by 8:30, it was raining. And a Monday. When you're getting dressed in the dark with a brain that's functioning at 12% max, bad things are bound to happen. Specifically bad outfits and fuzzy hair and forgotten mascara. In the spirit of self-flagellation posting everything I actually wear... here it is. On the internet. Forever.

Two in a row, man. Three more and I'll be the Tony Romo of blogging.

I picked this sweater up at F21 this weekend because it's ridiculously soft and obscenely cheap at $14. You know how sometimes the stars align and the angels come down from on high and you end up with something from Forever that lasts... forever? This is not one of those times. My left sleeve cuff started unravelling before lunchtime and I'm actually shocked the whole damn thing didn't come off before I got home. At least then it would have looked like I got in a fight or something awesome.

"Yeah, I lost my sleeve. You should see the other guy."

Brownie

Cardi: Target | Tank: Loft | Jeans: Target | Flats: Me Too 'Patty' | Bag: Melie Bianco | Monogram necklace: eBay | Earrings: Target | Cuff: Anthropologie

This outfit is the product of my pure unadulterated obsession with this bag (current season, $40 down from $150 at TJMaxx... yahtzee!) except the bag is cute and my mousy brown cardigan is not. No, I'm not colorblind - at one point, I was the proud owner of this mousy masterpiece and its delicious chocolately brown (fraternal) twin, and then when I was cleaning out my closet during a Goodwill haul I stuffed the wrong one in the bag and the rest is history. Win some, lose some. Carpe diem. YOLO. I'm not even making sense anymore. And I YOLO'd. Punch me.

Talking about brownies always makes me think of Without a Paddle ("Were you a boy scout? No, but I ate a brownie once"), which always makes me want to watch Without a Paddle, which reminds me that I have the world's most sophisticated taste when it comes to entertainment.